After Wednesday’s column, a cranky commenter on the newspaper’s site said that I had to scrape “the bottom of the Internet” to find the conspiracy theories I used. (And yet, I found them so easily …)
But ya know, why not scrape a little bit more randomness from the ’Net? Something has to take our minds off the scariness to come … and I’m still waiting for someone to scrape the gum off the bottom of the Internet.

I think that squirrel was at my house Saturday.
Image from “Texts from Mittens” found on catster.com.

If you can’t laugh at penguins chasing a butterfly, you have no soul …
Image found on funnycutepics.com.

What’s missing is the cat hacking up a hairball, the one in full catnip-fueled racing mode, and the one sleep-farting.
Image found on BuzzFeed.

We actually got a letter last week from someone who believed the sports editor and his “elk” were belittling people … these elk obviously weren’t a part of that.
Image found on 11 Points.

That’s all right, Doctor. When you’re a millenium old, it’s easy to get confused.
Image found on K&J Dreamatorium.