
I don’t blame you. I’d go back to bed and pull the covfefes over my head too.
Screenshot from Merriam-Webster’s Twitter page.
In the age of Trump, it seems words no longer mean what we (and the dictionary) think they mean. Even Merriam-Webster, which has been trolling the president and his staff hilariously, seems to have thrown up its hands (do dictionaries have hands??). And after the multiple Trump tweetstorms of the past couple of weeks (and the literal storm that took out a tree and my neighbor’s shed), I find myself looking to my favorite words. Because, ya know, I need a break.
Longtime readers know of my great love for funny-sounding words like persnickety and kerfuffle (hey, it’s that “k” sound!). I’ve thought that when I decide I’m ready for another cat or two, “Purrsnickety” and “Kerfluffle” would be good names. Then I remember how much I despise the cutesy reworkings of words for baby names (I’m looking at you, parents of Tu Morrow … damn you, Rob Morrow), and I’m jerked back to sanity.
Word nerds like me, though, can find solace in the beauty of “mellifluous” and “epiphany,” and the humor of “cattywampus” and “bumfuzzle.” We’re weird like that.
When I’m not giggling at American words like skedaddle and hornswoggle, I’m chortling at words from the British isles that sometimes sound like someone’s playing a huge joke on the rest of us.
Who knew there were so many terms for “idiot”?
Well, we did, especially once the Scots let loose on Donald Trump last year after he tweeted that Scotland was “going wild over the [Brexit] vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back.” Except … Scotland voted to remain in the European Union, as did London and Northern Ireland. It’s not their fault the rest of the not so United Kingdom voted to leave.
That inspired such responses as “we never got our country back, we wanted to remain, bolt ya hamster heedit bampot, away and boil yer napper” (which translates as “go away, you hamster-headed person of low intelligence and hooliganistic tendencies, go boil your head”), “spoon” (someone not trusted with a knife or fork), and the always reliable “clueless numpty” (one of the nicer ways of calling someone a stupid person). And those are the ones that can be printed in a family newspaper. I tried to find anything similar for Hillary, but she actually knew what was happening in the U.K., so …
But you don’t have to be a presidential candidate to earn similar mockery—Scots insult each other and their fellow citizens elsewhere in the U.K. just as saucily (as do those fellow citizens), and provide much entertainment for those of us amused by humorous terminology. Add other U.K. words and phrases to the mix (“barmy”—crazy; “know your onions”—be knowledgeable; “glunterpeck”—fool), and you’ve got good times.

If you ever see me swoon, this will be why. I can’t help it. It’s David Tennant’s and Benedict Cumberbatch’s fault.
Image found on ThumbPress.
Sure, the accents (which I love, by the way) are part of the effectiveness of words like these, but it’s the absurdity and creativity that sell them. Of course, I grew up watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus reruns on PBS, and my mom can be a bit weird, so I’m predisposed to odd humor. Shocking, I know.
Christine Ro, reporting for the BBC, explained last week that such silly expressions “reflect the U.K.’s cultural appreciation of wit, a long tradition of literary inventiveness—and Britain’s fluctuating global influence over the centuries.” Brits’ tendency to not take themselves too seriously, she reported, finds its way into whimsical wordplay, as illustrated by authors such as Shakespeare, Roald Dahl and Lewis Carroll.
Seriously, can you imagine life without Oompa Loompas or Frumious Bandersnatches? And heck, chortle, one of my favorites, was a Carroll invention.
Ro wrote: “There’s a long tradition in British English of inventing words just for the fun of it. Eminent linguist David Crystal writes in The Story of English in 100 Words that ‘a gaggle of geese,’ ‘an unkindness of ravens,’ and other collective nouns of this ilk were created in the 15th century. He speculates that this was done deliberately for comic effect, giving rise to ‘a superfluity of nuns’ (pun intended).”
Just imagine, people engaging in wordplay for the sheer enjoyment rather than to prove some point, political or otherwise. A word nerd like me could not imagine something more blissful and fun.
With all the strife, real and contrived, going on right now, we could all use a little bit of that fun.
And more funny “k” sounds.

Another reason to like bacon: that “k” sound. Now think of that Beggin’ Strips commercial.
Image found on share4you.
A reminder here that, if you haven’t been published in the last 30 days, we need your letters for the Voices page, especially with the holiday on Tuesday. Try to keep those letters under 300 words, keep it clean and civil, and if you cite a statement of fact, it may take longer to process your letter. We won’t be able to acknowledge or print everything we get, but we’ll do our best to print as many missives as we can. Since we’ll be completing the Tuesday and Wednesday pages on Monday, if you get your letter in by 8 a.m. that day, you’ll have a better chance of having it printed in the paper on July 4 or 5.
Have a favorite memory of Independence Day or of summertime activities? Have something stuck in your craw or a funny story to relate? Have a compliment you want to pass on? Write it up with your contact information (daytime phone number and/or email address) and send it in through the Web form, by email at voices@arkansasonline, by fax at (501) 372-4765, or by snail mail at P.O. Box 2221, Little Rock, Ark. 72203 (make sure to include Voices in the address).
Thank you, and I look forward to reading what you have to say!
The Twittersphere has been burning up, thanks to our president’s increased tweeting. Many of his critics (even those he’s blocked) surmise that it means something’s about to hit the fan, and he wants to distract from it. (Again, buddy, the media doesn’t want you to stop tweeting; your lawyers and staff do. Calm down and have two scoops of ice cream.)
I won’t assume just yet, but he does seem to be more unhinged by the day. Perhaps he needs a safe space. I mean, other than Fox & Friends. And yep, all that whining means we have a lot of burns to get through!

More snowflakes. But these are pretty much like the others. They don’t seem to get the concept.
Screenshot from Thailand thoughts’ Twitter page.

And another British idiom: Lost the plot … which he certainly has.
Screenshot from J Sheffield’s Twitter page.

Sesame Street and Schoolhouse Rock aren’t just for kids!
Screenshot from AltHomelandSecurity’s Twitter page.

He doesn’t seem to understand that he leaves himself open to this.
Screenshot from Dom’s Twitter page.

I so want him to play poker with Mueller. He has no game.
Screenshot from Tom Wellborn’s Twitter page.

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that meddling so-and-so …
Screenshot from Zaki Hasan’s Twitter page.

Apologies are for sissies and legitimate news organizations!
Screenshot from Gary A Williams’ Twitter page.

The Furby could never be as cute as Gizmo from Gremlins. And Trump is more like the ugly one with the mohawk.
Screenshot from infobahn’s Twitter page.

Cameras are bad … especially when they record stuff we don’t want people to see.
Screenshot from Trump’s Twitter page.

He has created jobs, but most of the lawyers don’t want them.
Screenshot from LippySJW’s Twitter page.
Press release from the Trump Pretendency:
Stories of the “golden shower” video are fake. All three girls say it didn’t happen, and they won’t do it again.
LikeLike
That may be my favorite word this week: Pretendency. 😀
LikeLike
I work with several other documentation analysts (aka nerds), and we write a word of the day on the white board. Our favorite part of the WOTD is the commentary people add. One of our recent words was “behoove,” and a coworker drew a bee and a hoof. Another word was “typeface,” and yours truly added “What the Helvetica.”
I started following Merriam-Webster on Twitter when I noticed the Trump trolling. He gives them good material, and I love a dictionary with a sense of humor.
LikeLike
“What the Helvetica” … I’ll have to start using that! 🤣
Merriam-Webster is one of my favorite places to go. It’s refreshing to see a dictionary not being so fusty!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must watch my language at work, so “What the Helvetica” is a fun substitute for saltier words. I watch my language most of the time, but I live vicariously through my daughter who my son described as “The Gordon Ramsey version of the Dalai Lama.”
LikeLike
Bwahahahaha!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I communicate with people in other states (either verbally or through the Internet) and use the word “tump” as in to “tump something over” which means to knock it over, the usual reaction is to be surprised because they have never heard “tump” before and do not know what it means. I have to explain it to them.
LikeLike
Those who didn’t grow up in the South missed out on a lot of good words. I feel sorry for people who never had the pleasure of tumping out a bunch of taters from the wheelbarrow. 😍
LikeLike
I also enjoyed tumping my siblings out of a wheelbarrow.
LikeLike
If mine hadn’t been burly boys, I would have liked that too! 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am the oldest, and for a few years, I was the tallest of my two siblings. Now, my brother could squish me with his thumb.
LikeLike
I’m the baby and only girl. I think I was only “tall” till around sixth grade. 🙆🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
My sister passed me up when she was in 6th grade and I was in 8th, and our brother shot up to 6′ 5″. I am the runt, but “though she be but little, she is fierce.”
LikeLike
Plus, we’re closer to what sometimes needs to be kneed 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Word.
LikeLike
Speaking of Bandersnatchi (both Frumious and non-Frumious), did you know that you can sing “Jabberwocky” to both the tune of “Greensleeves” and “House Of The Rising Sun”? Yes I have heard someone do this.
LikeLike
Now I have to try it!!!
LikeLike
Dictionaries may not have hands or tentacles or pseudopods, but the over-educated dinosaur called a thesaurus does have hands.
LikeLike
🤣
LikeLike
Speaking of Rob Morrow and his son Tu Morrow, here is a one hundred year old song for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di76NrJC55A
LikeLike
Daughter, actually. Still, her name is less objectionable than Pilot Inspektor Lee and others. 😉
LikeLike
Two scoops of ice cream? Instead, can we have a chocolate sundae with two scoop of vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry? No nuts because I am allergic to them and you are what you eat.
LikeLike
Works for me! I’m not much of a fan of nuts with ice cream. But I want chocolate ice cream.
LikeLike
I have several potential letters to the editor going through my head. Once I am home and not meeting myself coming and going, I will sort through my head letters and submit one.
LikeLike
Yea! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so tempting to throw more shade at a certain Arkansas senator, but I may go in a different direction this time.
LikeLike
There’s a couple of letters about some guy from Bigelow on Monday’s page. 😏
LikeLike