Still no war …

Watch out, buddy ... that tree may be armed!

Watch out, buddy … that tree may be armed!

Here we are, just a few days before Christmas, and still I see no signs that war is being waged on the holiday (by the holiday, on the other hand).

English: Inside the Korean Demilitarized Zone....

U.S. Army official Korean Demilitarized Zone image archive (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Perhaps I’m in a demilitarized zone (a red and green zone, perhaps), or maybe I’ve fallen unwittingly in with an entire state full of people bravely celebrating the holiday in peace despite absolutely no laws here forbidding its observance.

And gosh, I didn’t even have to go through lines of protesters dressed as Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Magi at Sonic when I went for that Winter Solstice shake special.

I can’t imagine why the jails haven’t yet been filled to overflowing with all these non-lawbreaking merrymakers, even those crazy ones who believe that they’re not the only religion in the world.

Don’t the authorities know what a crisis of infinitesimal proportions this is??

I had no idea when I did Crazy Cat Lady Christmas last year just how brave I was being.

I had no idea when I did Crazy Cat Lady Christmas last year just how brave I was being.

I even bravely built a Crazy Cat Lady Christmas Cat Tree ...

I even bravely built a Crazy Cat Lady Christmas Cat Tree …

Or maybe this war exists only in the superheated imagination of pundits and other troublemakers who only live to stir up trouble where there is none. (What would Jesus do? Not this. Or perhaps there was another verse to that song we learned in Sunday School, and Jesus just loved the little children who looked like him and worshiped him, the big meanie.)

And perhaps those people who are in the middle of actual wars and/or are truly being deprived of their rights (and lives) are more than a little irked by the idea that some people seem to think that someone telling them “Happy holidays” is akin to the apocalypse.

And a Purry Catmas to you, my good man!

And a Purry Catmas to you, my good man!

Naw. That couldn’t possibly be it.

In two seconds, I'll show you war ...

In two seconds, I’ll show you war …

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