Dumbassery abides

Put on your happy face, people!

Put on your happy face, people!

Those who know me well know that I’m actually pretty darned optimistic … I hope for the best in just about everything, but, being firmly entrenched in reality, I know to expect the worst. This isn’t pessimism; far from it, actually.

Yet there are days it’s really hard to find the optimism. One has only to open the mailbag at just about any newspaper to see the very odd things that people hold as their truth and then just lose all faith in humanity. Which is why my office is probably the goofiest of any at the paper, all so I can remind myself that most of the time things aren’t as dire as a lot of people seem to think. Duck butts and flying pigs are thus necessary for my job (tax deduction???) to help keep me on an even keel.

Most of the time. When confronted with dumbassery, all bets are off.

Between sales clerks who ignore important information (resulting in us paying a higher price than we should because they can’t be troubled to actually do their jobs), drivers who obliviously meander through city streets endangering fellow drivers and pedestrians alike, and writers who cite as hard fact polls that basically lead the respondents to the wanted result, it’s hard to find the happy.

I dealt with the first yesterday and the second and third … oh, just about every day. But since I’m too nice for my own good, I say nothing (Southern politeness has a dark side).

Which means that today I wasn’t in a particularly good mood, though I did my best to soldier on.

tinfoilWhat made that difficult was reading through a bunch of missives that pretty much regurgitated every crazy-ass conspiracy theory ever formed.

I believe that’s really one of the worst forms of dumbassery, if just for the fact that these people are so rabid in their beliefs that no amount of proof can sway them.

Obama was born in Kenya and a massive conspiracy backstopped all that documentation? Check.

Obama brought the Chicago machine with him to D.C. (pretty impressive for someone who fought the machine as a, yes, community organizer)? Double check.

The U.N. is trying to take over the world? Triple check.


Science-related theories end up usually being fairly easily debunked, but that matters not to the tinfoil-hat gang.

Charles Darwin. 1 negative : glass ; 5 x 7 in....

Darn that Charles Darwin. 1 negative : glass ; 5 x 7 in. or smaller. From a photograph by Elliott & Fry. According to Gene Kritsky, maintainer of an archive of Darwin photographs, this was from a photography session at Darwin’s home, Down House. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Science itself is apparently just one big conspiracy and it’s all Charles Darwin’s fault (and c’mon, Copernicus, we know we’re really the center of the universe!).


Yes, there are true conspiracies in the world, but most of the time, few people see the real thing until those at the center of a plot reveal it. The truly crazy ones that completely defy any semblance of logic are the ones held most dear by the tin-foil hatters.

The biggest conspiracy? I’m single-handedly keeping the truth off my page in the paper by refusing to print letters that put forth debunked “facts.”

Yep, that’s me. I’m evil. And any day now, the world will be mine and flaming pork butts will be my mascot (insert evil laugh here).

Dumbasses beware …

One thought on “Dumbassery abides

  1. Pingback: 100% of bloggers agree this is awesome!* | Serenity is a fuzzy belly

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