I think everyone has at least one person who drives you so crazy you would gladly take a week off just to slap the crap out of him (or her, but let’s be honest … most of the time it’s a him). Someone who makes you think, “Hey, Marshall had a great idea for Slapsgiving on How I Met Your Mother … way better than Festivus!”
When I was on the copy desk, a friend and I often used to muse on the need for the Slap-A-Matic to be invented so we could automatically slap all the people who reeeeeally need it … do-nothing family members, co-workers who repeatedly make the same mistake no matter how many times they’ve been told about it, oblivious people who nearly crash into you (if you’re lucky, not while driving), etc. ‘Cause, ya know, sometimes there are just so many who would require much bitch-slapping that you might injure yourself in the process, plus some of those people you just don’t want to touch.
Today, Steph and I were both pining for the Slap-A-Matic. It’s an idea whose time has truly come, so c’mon scientists, inventors, backyard mechanics … get crackin’! It’ll need a really good motor because there are a LOT of people in need of a slap or 5,000.
Until we get all the kinks out, this Jackass stunt will have to do for now:
Get the T-shirt (or the coffee cup … or license-plate holder …)!