Lord have Murray!

No, I swear I heard 'em, Mom! The squirrels were talking smack again!

No, I swear I heard ’em, Mom! The squirrels were talking smack again!

I can deal with crazy when it’s related to me or is the prettiest boy in the world. (yep, that’s what Luke thinks. He’s right, of course.) Sometimes I can deal with it when it’s me (I would hope so, anyway), and almost always when it’s entertaining (see Galloping Goofball).

However, when crazy, often paired with dumbassitude, is on the streets, behind the wheel of a car … no … just no.

We’ve all done stupid things while driving, or frozen when you saw that someone was going to hit you (like I did when I was backed in to the other day), but these people take it to a whole different level that would have Dante screaming “What the f***?!?”

You know these guys (hopefully you aren’t these guys). They’re the ones who routinely drive through lights that have been red for nearly a minute, never looking to the left or right. They turn right from the far left lane and vice versa.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Photo credit: Wikipedia

They have no idea what that red octagon with STOP printed on it means. Their left blinker stays on for three miles, then they turn off the blinker, come to a full stop, then turn right (usually from the inside lane, of course), sometimes turning the blinker back on midturn.

****

Oblivious driving on the streets is dangerous and terrible, no doubt, but what about in parking lots?

A parking lot with landscaping and a diagonal ...

A parking lot with landscaping and a diagonal parking pattern designed for one-way traffic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many times have you nearly been creamed by someone driving the wrong way down a parking lot lane (clearly marked), or by someone who thinks that 30 mph is appropriate in a crowded parking lot?

And then, of course, they take up multiple spaces in the lot because they park just as brilliantly as they drive.

Heavy sigh …

When my clerk Steph and I deal with especially difficult letter-writers, our usual reaction after the fact is “Lord have Murray!” (That came about due to my tongue not working so well one day, and it cracked both of us up and stuck.) With all the terrible driving I’ve been seeing lately, the Lord and Murray have both been getting a workout.

****

I (purrrr) KILL (purrrrr) YOU! (purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)!

I (purrrr) KILL (purrrrr) YOU! (purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)!

Meanwhile, I’ve been getting a bit creeped out by the fact that Luke has been purring very loudly lately when he’s been biting and scratching me. Which is why I keep putting off clipping those claws … shudder …

And now he’s giving me cute face …if  I don’t show up at work tomorrow, you know what happened.

Appearances can be deceiving ...

Appearances can be deceiving …

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