You’ve gotta be kidding me …

Mom, I'm not sure this one passes inspection. I smell something fishy.

Mom, I’m not sure this one passes inspection. I smell something fishy.

This is one of those weeks when I’m working hard to keep up since I’m working on eight pages instead of the usual seven, as well as reading proofs for the editorial page and our Sunday Perspective section. It’s also one of those weeks when bullies decide to work overtime, harassing my clerk to try to make us print their rejected letters.

Honestly, we can’t print all the letters we get, even in the occasional dry spell (like now during graduation season), and a lot of the people rejected (or angry that they’ve been edited despite the fact that the rules, which are lenient compared with a lot of papers, are on the page every day) love to say that we’re censoring them, or that we only want to print the opinions we agree with. That’s far from true (and if I only printed what I agreed with, we’d be lucky to print seven to 10 letters in a week, and that’s a stretch.).

You won't print my letter?? Kiss my fuzzy butt!

You won’t print my letter?? Kiss my fuzzy butt!

Regardless, they continue to call … and call … and call.

A lot of the time, these are the one-sourcers: people who believe that only those things that square with their beliefs are valid and all other things are nothing but lies. Other letters editors have noted that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts; that means nothing for one-sourcers, and no amount of reasoning will get through.

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I could tell them that there are ways to write the letters to get in those things that are so important to them, but since they’re being rude, yeah, that’s not gonna happen. (I’ve always been very polite and clear when talking to them, but I’m fairly sure that all they hear is “blah, blah, I love Satan, blah, kneel down and worship our dear leader Obama, blah, blah, screw you.” Which means they’re hearing the voices in my head again. Damn.)

Apparently Orly Taitz and Glenn Beck hacked our spell-check.

Apparently Orly Taitz and Glenn Beck hacked our spell-check.

And I’m still not going to let them attribute made-up quotes to Thomas Jefferson or paraphrase a quote in a way to make it favorable to their point but enclose it in quotes to make it appear that was actually what was said. I don’t let my columnists get away with that, so a letter-writer isn’t going to get one past me either.

Deutsch: Segway PT-Fahrer in Atlanta.

Deutsch: Segway PT-Fahrer in Atlanta. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Which means that when I left work, I was a bit cranky, but seeing a guy on a Segway in downtown Little Rock as I was walking to my car this evening just cracked me up. And made me wish I had my camera with me (yeah, I don’t do cell phones … I vant to be ah-lone).

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